If Gaia was a Woman She'd be a Fat Babe*

I used to think I was body positive. I was a feminist and every good feminist celebrates the female form, regardless of how it presents itself. My body as a young woman wasn't perfect in my eyes. I enjoyed being thin, and received social approval for it, but I was sometimes so underweight that a spot in the middle of my chest looked like it was caving in. I thought I had my challenges, yet (as it is with issues of privilege) I had major blindspots.

Then I had a baby. A whole decade's worth of aging and hormonal changes caught up with me in nine months. The transformation that I underwent to create the body of my daughter also radically altered my own. I gained 70 lbs and only lost 20 after my baby was born. I gave birth to new life and also a new self, and for several years afterward I thought the latter was a mistake. 

I struggled with intense feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment at my weight gain AND I was determined to set an example for my daughter that was accepting and body positive. She would watch me as I got dressed in the morning. On my good days I would catch her eye in the mirror and pat my stomach, saying "Hello there belly.". On the hard days I would gently ask her for some space while I got ready, so I could contend with feelings of grief and frustration at clothes that no longer fit, without her sponge-like attention. 

I became hyper aware of fat phobia in the larger culture. From television to children's books, fatness and obesity was synonymous with stupidity and laziness. Fat men were perceived as weak and impotent, fat women were seen as disgusting. On the bad days, I noticed that my critical self talk equated being "fat" with being worthless. I was shocked because I had never felt this way about weight on other women - at least this part of my "good feminist values" had been solid. But the truth was that deep down I had absorbed the same toxic messages about the female body and female worth, and was intolerant towards myself when I lost my golden ticket of perceived acceptability.

With mindful compassion, I investigated my feelings of guilt and shame. I realized that visible weight gain made me feel like I had nowhere to hide. I was imperfect, I was ageing, I was female and I was vulnerable. I had lost control of my appearance. It was more than control over diet or hunger. It was control over nature. Specifically, nature as a force bigger than ourselves that manifests in a fear of the wilderness, of hurricanes and tornados, of death. I realized that this seeming lack of power was where the embarrassment stemmed from - like a girl getting her period in 7th grade while wearing white shorts. I see London, I see France, I see... that you are nature. Quick girls, your nature is showing. Tuck it in.

Our culture celebrates dominance over nature - the perfectly manicured landscape, the garden maintained, corporate agriculture that forces the land under a yoke of production, the highly trained pet cat or dog that has lost all trace of its once wild instincts. But, as exemplified by the suburban lawn that still invites in and receives the seed of the dandelion, it is futile to exert control over life itself.

ECOPSYCHOLOGY AND THE BODY

In Ecopsychology, if we cannot discount the impact of the natural world on the human psyche, then we cannot discount the impact of how we treat the environment, who is almost always personified as being female - Mother Earth. She is seen as something to be conquered and if she is part of our daily view, she should be beautiful, something to admire and something useful. Like a field lying fallow, she is seen as useless until she can be of use again. This perspective totally negates the birds that scratch through the straw for seeds, the mouse with her nest of grass, the insects faithfully creating the compost to nourish new life, and the way that there is a season for everything - beyond "progress", "capitalism" and "success".

Our cultural view of the Earth is still largely Cartesian - a 16th century philosophy of dualism that premised separation of mind and body, with mind as omnipotent, seeking mastery over nature. If I may be hyperbolic for a moment, it is my opinion that mind over matter is an outmoded way of perception that has led to many of our current crises. Cutting off the mind from the body pits us against ourselves, and discludes the wisdom that emerges from sinew and bone, the neurological cells in the gut, the intuition that rises up through our feet and blooms at the solar plexus. If the Earth is soulless and mechanistic, if our bodies are not home, then where does our heart go to rest?

Moving towards a different relationship with our bodies, one that ceases to divide and foster hatred, is central to Ecopsychology. There are many reasons, but here are what I consider to be the top three:

1. We live in our bodies. They are the seat of our emotions and where we store our memories and traumas. If we hate our body, if we are constantly disassociating from it in a myriad of (often encouraged) fashions, then healing will be slow, fragmented or impossible.

2. The earth is the life giving body upon which we depend. The same disdain, disassociation or hate we feel for our own bodies is projected upon, and linked to, this greater body. This comes into play with problems like Climate Change denial, pollution, total destruction of ecosystems etc.

3. The earth, nature and land are characterized as female. Whatever patriarchal oppression, external or internalized, that exists, is perpetrated on women and mirrored in the way we abuse land, animals and ecosystems.

Changing the way we relate to, and inhabit, our bodies is not a one-size fits all approach. Fat Liberation, Body Positivity, and Body Neutrality are a great example of clear paths forward. 

BODY ACCEPTANCE

Negators of the fat acceptance movement typically site the idea that body positivity is about glorifying fatness. This is bad because everybody knows that fat = unhealthy. Furthermore, if fat people would just stop sitting around all the time and eating twinkies, they could stop complaining about inequality and being a drain on taxpayers dollars with their diabetes. I sound like I'm making a cruel joke, but look through any comment section on fat activism articles or on fat activists' instagram accounts and you will see this theme repeated ad nauseum by the trolls.

Health at Every Size has some great resources on how the idea that fat = unhealthy is a falsehood. However, whether or not size equals health is not the point here. The health argument is a tactic used to derail the conversation, and a topic for fat squeamish people to hide behind. Fat activism has never been about health, and whether or not someone is healthy is also no one's business but their own.

Body positivity is about the right to feel good in one's body, at any size, at any stage of health or able-ness. It's about inhabiting the body that we have, unconditionally, without being bullied or discriminated against. It's about fair representation in the media and in the workplace. It's about teaching children, in particular girls, that body shape and size is about uniqueness, not uniformity, and that worth is not based on a patriarchal and capitalistic standard of beauty. 

CULTURAL CONCEPTS OF BEAUTY

But everybody knows that fat girls are ugly and undesirable, right?

Like all prejudice, this is taught and learned, not inherent. In other words, it's an opinion, formed at a young age from societal messages and reinforced almost constantly. Feeling disgust at something contains emotion - aversion, fear and avoidance, which gives it more punch than a simple mental construct and therefore makes it seem more true. Yet still, at its core, it is just a preference, not fact. 

It is possible to have our preferences and not enforce them upon other people. It is possible for two truths to exist simultaneously and not cancel each other out. You can have a personal aversion to certain body types and still allow room for other people's experience, even if it is completely different than yours. This is the hallmark of maturity - the ability to hold paradox. It is also how we can have better relationships with others. If we can both be right, with reasons that are equally valid to us based on personal experience, there is nothing to lose. No one has to be wrong, no idea has to be defeated. 

THIS BODY OF MINE

Writing this post took over a month. I hesitated at first to bring in my own experience, imagining I should remain the ever-neutral therapeutic voice. This sent me down a rabbit hole of information gathering, and I began to think I would have to make this a four part series, in an effort to leave no stone unturned and quell every negative response a reader might have. This points to how loaded and complex the subject of fatness is. In the end, I remembered that the personal is political, and I knew my honesty and authenticity is the voice I needed to speak with. In order to shake off my self editing, I wrote some poetic prose. I share it here in conclusion.

This body of mine, what she loves the most, is to float down rivers. 

Hands of the water supporting her back, arms drifting behind like the fronds of water weeds, a pose of total surrender, trust built by how good she feels in this place, away from culture and closet.

Later, on the city streets, she throws her hands in the air and lets the current of pedestrian traffic carry her downstream, heart easy.

This body, she goes missing in the mirror. There's something else there, but it's not warm stones and bones on the shore in the sun or muscles pumping love for the pleasure of being alive. No, this body is a stranger, a stalker, a jail cell, an entire world rejected.

This body of mine, she grew and released a child. Now this child pats my belly and sings love songs to a squishy mommy.

This body of mine, she's been a landfill. Trauma and grief and shame have been buried deep within sinew, marrow and gut. Now, at midlife, she is an excavation site, discarded selves like buried treasure.

This body of mine, she is shocking, like the sudden change from summer to fall. Her seasons change and there is no arresting the progress, she is the boat carrying us downstream towards the waterfall we all eventually go over. She is uncontrollable, she is nature, she is earth. She is home and I am grateful to have returned.

*The alternate title for this could have been "If Gaia was a human, she/he/they would be multitudes of colors, seasons, ability and sizes". Not catchy, but true. However, I think the real title is "Gaia is All About The Bass".

Further Reading

10 Bloggers Fighting Fat Shame

7 Ways Body Positivity Can Be More Inclusive of Non-Binary Queer Individuals

Virgie Tovar

Decolonizing Body Positivity for Women of Color

The Body Positivity Movement Still Looks Too Much Like White Feminism

Male Body Positivity Photo Series

Thank You for Helping Me Unsettle My Mind

I don't want to be racist, do you? Probably not. So what stands in the way of taking criticism, offered constructively or not, when it comes to our blind spots? I think it's shame, and when it comes to shame, self-compassion is key.

I have a pet rooster, Mr. Brown, who simultaneously loves me and tries to kill me. He enjoys being snuggled and told how handsome he is, demurely pecking treats out of my hand and melting into a feather puddle when I massage his wattles. But as soon as I put on my green rubber muck boots, I become enemy number one. He will chase me over the entire ranch for the opportunity to let those boots know who's boss. It used to infuriate me. It was frightening and sometimes painful and I would become immediately reactive, cortisol rising. It also hurt my feelings - I hand raised that little jerk when he was the runt of the flock. Who does he think he is?

Sometimes I think I have answers to that, and we'll get back to it in a minute. But it's more honest to say I don't know. We can never truly know what is in the minds and hearts of The Other, humans and roosters alike. At the same time, the more I nurture self-compassion for my own human faultiness - times of aggression, pettiness, jealousy or selfishness, the less triggered I become when called out on it, and the more empathy I have towards the faultiness of others. When I can be forgiving towards myself for being (incredibly) imperfect, there is less to defend and less shame to move through, in responding to another. I am then able to be forgiving, relaxed and receptive to the other person.

So what, you just let people walk all over you then? What about people who are clearly in the wrong - abusers, racists, neo-nazi assholes who drive vehicles into crowds? Before we go any further, let's make the distinction between compassion and idiot compassion. Idiot compassion is where you are the proverbial milquetoast. This is not true compassion because your meekness is unkind not only to yourself, but also to the other. Someone who harms another also harms their own heart. True compassion is not martyrdom - it's having boundaries to prevent even greater harm. Like carrying around a spray bottle so that when your rooster tries to spur your bare legs, and you feel like murdering him, he gets a squirt in the face instead and nobody has blood on their hands (or spurs).

Mr. Brown in one of his gentler moments.

When it comes to being called out on your privilege, covert racism or just basic ignorance of the reality of being a Person of Color in 'Merica*, your feelings might get hurt or it may bring up shame. Even if the person calling you out does so ungracefully, this is not a case of someone being clearly in the wrong. The most important thing to remember is that shame does not mean you are bad, nor does it make the other person bad. Consider shame as a reminder that pops up on your phone, the string you tie around your finger, the post-it-note you put on your mirror - the one that says "Self-compassion is key". 

The more you can offer yourself kindness and stay with your feelings of shame (and the story they bring up - I'm unworthy, I'm unlovable, I'm bad), the more you will discover that you can breathe through these moments. They come in like a wave and then, ebb out again. 

Recently I was reflecting on a moment when someone (with inspiring gentleness) called me out on some language that could be construed as thinking like a settler.  I had a flush of shame, a spike of defensiveness, and then I took a deep breath. I summoned up self-compassion, and I also offered the other person generosity, assuming their best intentions. We ended up having a connective conversation, and both walked away feeling the better for it. As I mused on this experience, I had the thought, "Thank you for helping me Unsettle my mind.". 

I don't want to be racist, do you? Probably not. So what stands in the way of taking criticism, offered constructively or not, when it comes to our blind spots - those racist ways of thinking and perceiving that are part and parcel of unspoken American culture? I think it's shame, and the more we can loosen its grip on us, the more we can respond relationally.

In my struggle to find a solution with my rooster that didn't involve the soup pot, or my bruised feet, I made myself a student of Chicken Business. I observed my birds closely, noting triggers, times of day, relationships, and methods and styles of attacking. I ceased to assume and instead sought to understand. I read research on Roo behavior, and learned that roosters are hard wired to serve and protect their flock. The fact that Mr. Brown seemed confused by his own aggression towards me was probably the case - he does know that I raised him, indeed I am part of the flock. I am also obviously bigger and stronger and therefore a potential threat. He truly is not sure if I am a person, a hen, a rooster or a fox. He's also pretty sure that my green boots are monsters.

My rooster situation didn't really bring up shame, but it has taught me so much about my potential for keeping my head in the face of reactivity. I began to soften when Mr. Brown would begin his approach. I already knew that I should stand my ground, but instead of doing so angrily, I leaned forward with affection, sometimes even crouching down. As he came in, I cooed at him, telling him how handsome he is, what a good job he does protecting the girls. When he did peck me, or try to flog, I found patience. It hurt, but I could stand it. Remarkably, I didn't get angry anymore. He does still come after me from time to time, but it's far less frequent now. Because I am not reactive, I am able to have clear perspective and have learned how to thwart an attack with my hands. I can defend myself, but I am not defensive. Furthermore, I feel love for my King of the Field and Farm.

Even when running away from his spurs, first thing in the morning, bathrobe flying.

*It's my assumption that I'm preaching to the choir, but in case some phrases are new to you, here are a few links to get you started.

Unsettling America

White Privilege

Decolonize Your Mind

The Realities of Being Black in America

Creating Ecoresiliency in Children

I consider myself to be mathematically challenged. I still count on my fingers, I use my phone to figure out the percentage for a tip, and I run away shrieking from fractions. However, when it comes to trying to predict the future for my child in a world of climate instability, I can achieve genius. Some people gain superhuman strength in a crisis. Me, I can crunch numbers like Hercules. Give me a date, such as 2025 (when water shortages may be felt by us all) and without a calculator I can tell you that my daughter will be 15 years old. In 2057, when 37% of all species may have gone extinct, she will be my own age of 42. That is (says my worried self) if she is lucky enough to live that long. Scientists can't say for sure how it will all shake out, instead leaving us with a general prediction of "ifs"....If climate change is allowed to continue on a runaway trajectory, my daughter's future could take place in a world where food, water supply and livable habitat are in short supply and high demand.

As an ecopsychologist, and a mother, one of the most frequently asked questions I receive is "How can I prepare my child for a future of environmental uncertainty?". It's a question that almost immediately spirals out into panic..."Should I teach them self-defense? Primitive skills? Should we hightail it to the backcountry and start homesteading now? How high should I build my fence? What kind of gun should I buy?". I write that in jest, but it's not too far from the truth. In scanning the horizon for danger, as parents we assume the worst, both of events and also each other. In our current polarized political climate, tensions run high and trust is at an all time low. It's easy to create an equation that begins with a shortage of resources and adds up to a sum of Lord of the Flies. 

Rather than true predictions, these are reactive thoughts, based on a primal desire to protect our children. One of the first things we may need to do as parents, is find support in navigating our own eco-anxiety.Instead of quick fixes or survival techniques, we want to create ecoresiliency in our kids. Ecoresiliency is the ability to navigate...emotionally, mentally and physically...the potential upheavals in our lives due to climate change. It requires an approach that involves the whole family, since we will build in that resiliency by learning it, and then modeling it, ourselves. While the whole prospect might seem overwhelming, in actuality it is quite simple. I'm talking about primarily instilling general resilience, and it ties right in with what we are already trying to do as parents...raise children who have good self esteem, are able to emotionally resource in tough times, can communicate fairly and honestly with others and feel empowered to make a difference in their world. It might sound like hard work, and it also may lead you into questioning your priorities as a parent, but overall it's much easier than going full on Mad Max.  By the end of this article, my hope is that a dystopian future will seem less likely than one that feels full of positive possibility...and within your grasp.

Cross the Threshold of Your Comfort Zone

While we may not know the specifics of how we will individually and collectively be impacted by climate change, one thing is for sure...moving into our edges is what will be required of all of us. What happens within us when we are uncomfortable and inconvenienced? How do we learn our own ability of perseverance when the going gets tough? If we have been fortunate enough to avoid hard times or trauma, we may have no sense of our ability to respond and endure. Lucky for us, there are some very enjoyable ways to discover how to rough it.

1. Get off the couch and into nature with the whole family. Sedentary indoor living breeds an unnatural fear of discomfort. Spending a day at the beach, going for hike, even just walking to your destination rather than driving brings you back into the truth of yourself as a human animal...you are meant to be outside. Get reacquainted with your senses and natural abilities. Take the kids camping with minimal gear and let them discover how much can be done with sticks and pinecones. Local park and recs often host family camp outs. If you are already an adept camper, take it a step further and try backpacking. It's a great way to remember how little you really need to survive, or dare I say...to be happy.

2. Learn new skills and sports where there may not be natural talent, preferably outdoors. While challenging yourself and your kids in this way may include experiencing frustration, doubt, fatigue or other discomfort, you will also be creating new neural pathways in your brain. Believe it or not, your malleable brain is designed to learn and change.

3. Unplug. I'm not encouraging you to go luddite, but I am suggesting cutting down on screen time Research has proven that the use of screens, especially in children, shortens attention span and increases addictive tendencies. But I don't need to tell you that. We have all experienced the "quick visit" to Facebook, Instagram and other sites turning into a black hole of wasted time. Quit clicking and try out having a "no tech" day once a week, or establishing time limits for online time, for your kids AND you. Take it a step farther and enjoy a "lights out" evening. Let your kids light the candles and enjoy dinner with a soft glow. Afterwards, bundle up and go outside with some hot cocoa and look at the stars. If you live in an urban area, the few visible stars are still worth it and there is magic to be found. 

Foster Connection to Place

If you implement any of the previous suggestions, you will be well on your way to fostering connection to place. Place is the bioregion and watershed where you live. On a smaller scale it is also your neighborhood, farm, or mountain top sanctuary. Place can include the people you know and the culture of your community and it most certainly includes all the non-human others you share air with...the plants, trees and animals. Fostering connection to these elements brings with it an orientation that can be your most valuable resource in hard times. It makes "home" larger than the house and can inform your identity and sense of security...and children need both. In older times it was simply referred to as "putting down roots". By entering into relationship with Place, a sense of belonging naturally arises, and it can feel surprisingly reciprocal. As if the landscape, and all that it contains, was loving you back.

Connecting to Place might seem at first inconsequential in the face of climate change and it is easy to fall prey to a sense of futility, fed by a negative stream of news that injects us with anxiety and fear. We are so inundated with reports of environmental degradation that we forget that outside our doors Life continues on. The seasons happen, flowers bloom, baby animals are born, the sun rises and sets, filling the sky with beauty. So much is available to us on a daily basis to lift our mood and broaden our perspective. Nature is not the news...and it's still here. It is by connecting to place and its elements that we will support ourselves in facing whatever comes. When it comes to extinction or the destruction of ecosystems, it hurts to lose someone or something that you love. The antidote is to love more, and to let that love deepen your commitment to being the change you want to see in the world. Here are some ideas for losing the worry and gaining joy, dedication and resilience:

1. Beach cleanups and environmental restoration. One of the best antidotes for eco-anxiety is to put that energy towards making a difference. No matter where you live, there is an organization that offers opportunity for dedication to place. Check in with your local chapter of the Forest Service, Sierra Club, Parks and Recreation, Surfrider Foundation or SPCA. If they don't have a current event, they know who does. These events are usually family oriented, and are a great way to meet your community. Plus, it will teach your kids about earth stewardship and give them a sense of empowerment. For older children and teens, who are becoming aware of the scope of environmental problems, getting out there and doing something is an important way to channel the frustration and anxiety they may feel.

2. Who are the people in your neighborhood? I'm not just talking about the humans who live next door. What species do you share space with? Few of us were brought up with a parent who was a botanist, zoologist, or amateur naturalist, and unless we have gone into these professions ourselves, we may have very little knowledge about our bioregion. So what do we do when our children point out a flower, bird or animal and ask "What is that?". We feel helpless to reply, and for us and our kids, nature remains a bunch of green stuff blending into itself. Once you learn a few species however, a subtle magic begins to happen. Suddenly nature becomes discernible, filled with individual friends.The beings you recognize become a point of connection and a source of pride. After your kids learn to identify a tree or flower, watch how they shout it out every time they see one when you are driving around. 

Where to begin when you don't know how to identify other species? Pack a bag with a digital camera (or your phone, but no calls please) and a small notebook and pen. Go for a walk with your kids. When you spot something that interests you, take a photo. If it's a plant, make sure you get the shape of the leaves and the stem. If it has a flower, get that too. Get out your notebook and write down some notes...where is it growing? In the sun or shade? Does it have a smell? Be descriptive. Write it down. Give your kids the camera and let them follow the same process. When you get home, use an identification key to learn the names of your new friends. Check out the Calphotos website, find a bird with the Cornell Lab of Ornithology or discover what the fox says using the Macauley Library. Identifying is empowering (but I warn you that it is also fun and addicting).

The Audubon Society has chapters in every county, and hold frequent bird watching walks, with experienced guides. Don't be afraid to be a newbie...enthusiasts love to share their knowledge. Wild food foraging is also all the rage, and there's a good chance someone is leading a walk in your area. The same goes for wildflower tours in the spring, or acorn festivals in the fall. 

Teach your kids how to communicate with others...even if they don't agree with them.

This starts young and like all the other examples is a whole family affair. Children will learn how to handle conflict by the way you handle it with them. I know of nothing more difficult as a parent, since few of us received perfect modeling, but when it comes to self esteem and creating good social connections, learning how to ask for what we need, set boundaries and navigate conflict is key. 

As communities move into times of stress and crisis, tempers will be running hot and patience will be short. Good communication will not only help the individual maintain supporting relationships, it can also be a glue that holds a community together. People who know how to communicate well with others are great leaders, because they know how to listen, mediate and make decisions from a non-reactive place. 

1. Learn Non-Violent Communication as a family. NVC is a non-blaming, compassionate method for expressing feelings, needs and opinions that fosters connection rather than conflict. From The Center for Non-Violent Communication:

NVC begins by assuming that we are all compassionate by nature and that violent strategies—whether verbal or physical—are learned behaviors taught and supported by the prevailing culture. NVC also assumes that we all share the same, basic human needs, and that each of our actions are a strategy to meet one or more of these needs.

NVC can be learned in a weekend workshop, by watching videos or reading a book, such as Non-Violent Communication: A language of life by Marshall Rosenberg. What I appreciate about NVC is that not only does it increase effective communication and improve relationships with others, but with self-empathy as one of the key components, it also improves our relationship with ourself.

2. Bring empathy into parenting. If I were to name what I think is the key to raising emotionally healthy children (both as a therapist and as a mom), it would be empathy. Empathy helps us to see the world from another's perspective, to put ourself "in their shoes". When it comes to parenting, this can help us when we are worn out or frustrated with behavior, to not take things personally and respond with kindness. Sometimes the protestations of our kids just don't seem to make sense, and we get fed up. Empathy provides us with spaciousness to allow our children their experience (e.g. we think something "shouldn't" be a big deal but we can understand that from our child's perspective, it just is.). Self-empathy, extending that same spaciousness to ourselves, helps us out in those tight spots when we reach our limit of patience. And speaking of limits, we still set them...but with empathy, rather than punitively. While whole books have been written on the topic (such as the excellent Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort) I will sum it up like this...empathy is the building block for emotional and mental health and the primary foundation for resilience. 

There are many ways to practice healthy communication and empathic parenting. The Art of Hosting is a wonderful template for holding not only business meetings, but also family meetings. Working with a parenting coach, such as Dr. Laura Markham, can be the guiding light we need through the rough spots of raising kids. None of these things need be cost prohibitive. There are plenty of books and free videos on both communication and empathic parenting. Speaking with a pastor or rabbi is available to anyone and a free, but valuable, connection. Finally, there is often no better support for a parent than another parent. The simple realization that you are not the only one to experience difficulty in communicating or empathizing with your kids can lift the heaviness from your heart and return you to a loving, and resilient, place. 

3. Being able to communicate with others who are different than us necessitates bridging the gap of racial and socio-economic inequality. When we talk about ecoresiliency in children, there is an inherent difficulty. While the suggestions I have given would seem to be universally available to everyone, the fact is that they may only be available to those with racial or economic privilege. Environmental racism, where toxic waste dumps and poisonous industries are placed in proximity to low-income or minority communities, is a real thing. The Bayview/Hunters Point toxic waste dump in San Francisco and the Chevron Refinery in Richmond, CA, are two examples. The biggest impact in these communities is on the children, who must contend with growing up not only in a nation with deeply imbedded racism, but with their physical health compromised on a daily basis. Ecoresiliency is already a reality. Every day we become more of a global community, because pollution and climate change ignores borders, whether internationally or the next neighborhood over. In developing countries, ecoresiliency has not been a choice, but a matter of survival. 

It is outside the scope of this article to go in depth to such vast and intractable issues. However, if we are going to come together as a global community and survive as a species, we need to be able to talk to each other, and addressing inequality is vital to that conversation. As a parent, you have a simple, but important part to play in creating a world of environmental justice. Using words and explanations that are appropriate to your child's age and development, talk to them. While the issues are complex, when our children are young they need only simple explanations. One of the easiest concepts for young kids to grasp is fairness. Start there, work your way up, and consider it a part of life-long teaching and learning for the whole family.

One last note on communication within the family...our kids will notice when we are upset about something related to climate change, and they will want to know why. We might think it's a good teaching moment to talk about, say, drowning polar bears or super storms. After all, it involves their future...shouldn't they know? Yes and no. Offering information is not always the best answer. Children, especially young ones, don't have the holding capacity for scary information that is out of their control, and at the least it can be frightening and at the worst, traumatizing. Scenarios about future danger can play out boundlessly in their imaginations. Even older children and teens, who are becoming savvy to the realities of the world, still can't properly metabolize the implications. Instead of unloading your anxiety by sharing it with your children, give them only what they can handle. Simple, age appropriate information, explained in a neutral confident tone. If you can't do it on the spot, it's ok to answer questions with It's complicated. Let me think of how to answer that and I will tell you later.

In conclusion...don't jump to conclusions.

Despite the overwhelming prospects that we face when we think about raising children in an unpredictable world, the truth is that this has always been the case. The future is always an unknown. Yes, there are predictions and projections about what may be to come. There are also a lot of variables and possibilities. Will humans only last another 100 years? Maybe. Will the indomitable human spirit rise to the occasion with cascading response that mitigates the worst of climate change? Maybe. Will there be positive surprises and developments that we can't conceive of at the moment? Probably. The truth is, we don't know what tomorrow will hold, and that can be a point of refuge. I don't know can be the place where we stand, a mantra to help us to simply do our best.

Raise kids who know how to love themselves and others, who can connect to their immediate and global community and who are inspired to give back to the world and make a difference. There will be many incredible, influential people who will emerge to offer their guidance in the realm of politics, international affairs, social and environmental justice, technology and ecological rehabilitation. One of them could be your child. 

Hang in there, moms and dads. Seek support if you need it. We're all in this together.